The First Time
by IllustratingAuthoress
Summary: A tale told in short snippets, from Marauder days to the second war, in our favorite resident chocolate-loving werewolf, Remus Lupin's, point of view. Oneshots not necessarily in chronological order.
1. Date

**Hi! This is my first fanfic so I really don't have any witty disclaimer to use...**

**Oh well...I don't own Harry Potter. All rights belong to J.K. Rowling, etc., etc.**

**So, enjoy (or not, whatever...but that'd be really mean *pouts*) and tell me what you think!**

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Moment: Date

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The first time Remus hears James crowing jubilantly that he's finally gotten _the_ Lily Evans, who is _infamous_ for rejecting James Potter, lady killer, _every single time_ (which was a _lot_), to go on a _date_, of all things, with him the next Hogsmeade trip, he throws open the window he is studying next to in the Gryffindor common room to check for flying pigs, or maybe fallen pieces of the sky – anything that indicates the inevitable apocalypse.

But then again, it is Hogwarts, so when he _does_ happen see a large, rather bright pink porker with pearly gray wings similar to those of a dove fluttering wildly by the window, he dismisses it as a charm gone wrong and runs down to make sure that James hasn't accidentally gotten any details wrong – wrong girl, wrong reality (it had taken him three hours last week to convince James that _yes_, he had dreamed getting the girl of his dreams since third year to go out with him; _no_, what he did in his dreams did not affect what he did in the real world; and _no_, Lily was _not_ going to go on a date with him next Saturday), wrong wording, wrong interpretation, wrong _anything_.

James remains happily delusional and continues exclaiming to all and sundry that he has finally gotten his dearest wish to come true.

Remus decides to go to someone who is sane to verify it, dragging Peter and Sirius to go along with him – he does _not_ want to face Lily alone when she finds out that James has gone and told everybody and their mother that they are going on a date.

When he finds out that Lily actually _has_ gone and agreed, of all things, to James's asking her out, he decides that the entire world has gone and lost its mind and goes back to bed, leaving Peter and Sirius to party with James and quite a few hordes of crestfallen females of the "James Potter Fan Club" sobbing in small groupies in the corners of anywhere – the hallways, the classrooms, the common rooms, the bathrooms, even the _dungeons_…

The next few days, Remus is convinced that the whole school is playing a prank on him. It takes going up to a sulking _Snape_, of all people, as _he_ would _never_ participate in _anything_ as _uncouth_ and _barbaric_ as a _prank_ to finally make him realize that yes, _this is really happening_.

For the rest of the week, the remaining Marauders simply laugh at his humiliation and wounded pride.

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**This is supposed to be a series of oneshots, and I've already written out three more, but I'd like to know what the readers think before I add anything more, so please review!**


	2. Marriage

**Um...I kinda couldn't wait for people to reply (I'm not the patient kind of person) so...heheheh...I tried a different approach for this one. It's got more dialogue...**

**Also, thanks to lucky15371 for favoriting and following...the only one as of this update (see? I'm still being optimistic...). **

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Moment: Marriage

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The first time Remus hears that James and Lily are getting married, he simply stares and the happily beaming couple and can only hope he remembers how to breathe. It takes Sirius whooping "I knew it!" very loudly and Peter stammering congratulations before he manages to stammer one of his own.

"But, er, have you guys thought this through? Like, are you really, really sure? This is a lifetime commitment you're talking about here," he says, not really sure if he can survive Lily and James having an argument after getting married. Normally he just does the duck and cover routine and prays for his life, but...after all, if they _already_ argue like a married couple, what will they be like when they have to spend almost twenty-four/seven with each other?

Peter frowns. "Don't be a stick-in-the-mud, Remus," he says, but he cannot meet his eyes and looks slightly nervous and worried, as if he would rather be somewhere else. Remus chalks it up to Peter's mother being in a bad state – high fever, vomiting blood, bad headache…it didn't sound very good. At all. _Peter must be really worried_, he thinks.

"Of course we're sure!" James says with a cocky grin. "We're going to get married and then have a ton of beautiful, fiery little red-headed girls and handsome, dashing little Quidditch stars running around!"

"Running around to hex each other, you mean," Sirius says, rolling his eyes. "Ten galleons that they get along just as well as you two did during our school years."

"Fifteen that they don't," James counters. "And no bribery or anything like that."

"Deal."

They shake on it.

"So, fifteen galleons to Sirius if they get along just as well as Lily and James do, and fifteen to James if they get along either better or worse?" Remus asks innocently.

James grins. "Why, Mssr. Moony, I knew you'd understand!"

"Why, thank you, Mssr. Prongs." Remus grins back.

"Not fair!" Sirius whines. "If you do that, you have a better chance of winning than I do…"

"Congratulations, Sirius, you know elementary-level math," Remus says dryly.

"Besides," James says cheerily, "You already shook on it."

"Help me, Peter! Lily-Flower! They're ganging up on me…" Sirius pleads to an immovable Lily and a snickering Peter, his infamous puppy dog eyes large, bright, and sparkly. "Please…" Sirius looks ready to get down on his knees and grovel.

Lily's stony face does not even twitch. "Sirius, you're shameless. I'm not helping."

"Er, well, you're going to end up losing anyways," Peter says, fidgeting slightly.

Lily rolls her eyes, saying, "_That's_ for sure."

"Hey, hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius asks, dramatically clutching his chest. "You wound me, my friends, doubting my pure awesomeness!"

"Uh-huh," James says. "You just keep thinking that, mate. So, is it a deal or not?"

"Fine, fine, fine…" Sirius pouts, resigned to his oh-so-horrible fate. "Fifteen galleons to whoever is right about how well your children get along…"

James grins triumphantly.

And Remus smiles blithely, saying, "James, when you win, I get half the prize money!"

"_What?!_ That's not fair! Then if Sirius wins, he gets more!" James complains.

"James, I'm glad you can do elementary-level math as well, but I think you need to brush up a bit on your English," Remus replies seriously.

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**So...yeah. Review? Anyone? I didn't get any last chapter (as of this update...^.^ Optimistic still! Yay!).**


	3. Pregnancy

**Well, I don't really have a lot to say...just that I've never actually witnessed a husband finding out that his wife is pregnant so it might be a bit unrealistic...but I've always kind of thought of it as a "depends-on-the-person" type of situation, so...yeah...**

**Sorry?**

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Moment: Pregnancy

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The first time Remus finds out that Lily is pregnant it is two days after the full moon, another day his employer has promptly fired him after figuring out he is a werewolf. It is not hard to put the pieces together, after all, when he has been missing every month for the three days that coincide with the full moon.

He is lounging in James's flat, listening to him go on the typical angry, long-winded spiel about wizarding prejudices he _always_ goes on _every time_ something bad happens to Remus because of his "furry little problem". Remus is sure that he has almost completely memorized the monologue, but it still makes him feel slightly better all the same.

He hears Lily enter the flat, calling out softly, "I'm home…"

"In here, honey!" James calls, and Remus almost snickers. _Honey?_

"Um, James…?" Lily asks, coming in, chewing her bottom lip and looking nervous. She seems to have gained weight, but Remus does not say so, valuing his good health and preferring not to get hexed to kingdom come.

Lily is not a Charms mistress for nothing.

"Yes?" James asks, breaking off of his rant. "What did the Healer say?"

At Remus's questioning look, James explains, "She hasn't been feeling all that well these past few weeks, getting nauseous and throwing up, so I sent her to St. Mungo's before going to work. So what did they say, honey?"

"Um…" She looks indecisive, very out of character for the normally calm, cool, and collected Lily Evans, temperamental fits notwithstanding.

"Lily?" James is starting to look worried.

"I'm pregnant," she blurts.

Remus falls off the couch.

"Y-you're _what?_" James asks, turning ashen gray. "You're _pregnant?_"

"Yes." Lily looks at him, pleading. "James…what are we going to do?"

"What are we going to do?" James repeats, his face now slightly tinged a light purple.

Lily nods, looking even more apprehensive about James's reaction to this piece of startling news. Remus can only hope that James does not take this badly.

James looks thoughtful, and after a few minutes of tense silence, he says, "Well, first of all, we'll have to go buy a few books on pregnancy and parenting and stuff like that; maybe we can ask Molly, she has a lot of experience with stuff like this. We'll also have to tell all of our friends, and we can have a party or something…"

As James continues to plan and pulls Lily onto the couch before plopping onto it himself, Lily's facial expression begins to change, going from nervous and worried to relieved and happy. Remus slips out of the room, not wanting to impose on them. But he is sure that their friends' expressions will be priceless when they find out…he mentally notes to bring a camera.

"And you are not going to overexert yourself, got it? That means no manually cleaning the apartment, no experimenting with potions or charms, no rushing to work, no…"

"James!" Lily sounds like she is laughing now. "I'll be fine!"

Remus grins. _I never knew James was a mother hen…_

Later, after Lily has been reassured, James says, "Moony! I can't be a father!"

"And, may I ask, why not?" Remus asks, amused. Now it's _his_ turn to reassure a frantic soon-to-be-parent.

"What if I mess up? I – I'll be a horrible role model! What if the baby grows up to be an arrogant prat?" James is nearly hysterical.

"Oh, so you finally admit it?"

"Yes! I mean, no!" James pauses. "Wait, hey! That – that wasn't nice, Moony!"

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**So, yeah...Review?**


	4. Baby

**Since all of you were so encouraging, I gave you a new update really quickly! And it's the longest chapter yet! Yay! Thanks to everybody who favorited/followed and reviewed! Especially those who said it was good and I should really continue...I was really unconfident about posting this...**

**This one is less "humor" and more "family", and it might seem a little sappy and forced...I'm not that good with stuff like this...**

**I know you guys like humor, but after this there'll be less and less because...well, your best friends all dying isn't exactly the best "humor" material. Sorry.**

**Also, there's one bad word in the first paragraph. Just warning because this it K+, and I'm not sure if this kind of language is allowed or not...**

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

Moment: Baby

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The first time Remus sets his eyes on Harry, it is at St. Mungo's, a mere few hours after he receives an urgent Floo message from James, reporting (more like freaking out) that Lily is in labor and Remus had _"better get your ass over here or so help me…"_

Peter is unavailable as his mother's sickness has taken a turn for the worse, so Remus, being the good friend that he is, gets there as fast as he can on the Knight Bus (even though it makes him nauseous and his heightened senses go haywire) before James can work himself up to a panic-stricken state complete with heart palpitations, which Remus has no doubt he can. He is also quite certain that Sirius, who would not miss this for the world, will be of no help to his hyperventilating friend, as he will be just as – if not more – nervous and worried as James is.

When he arrives, he is glad to see that no heart attacks have occurred (yet) and James and Sirius are currently engaged in the fine act of wearing a hole through the carpet, and, in the prospective future, possibly the floor.

Remus, ignoring his own inner miniature hysteria storm, sits them down and manages to keep them from panicking the next few long hours. He is truly almost at the end of his proverbial tether with James, for the grand total of the seventy-third time (Remus has been counting), on the verge of a nervous breakdown and Sirius not much better, when the door to Lily's room opens, the pristine-white-clad Healers trooping out in an orderly fashion. The one in the lead gives them a polite nod and the three of them stare, as if it is a foreign gesture. Remus nods back, having to elbow James and Sirius before they remember their manners and hastily nod as well.

After James has some alone time with his beloved wife and newborn child, he pokes his head out from behind the door and beckons them inside, his hazel eyes suspiciously wet. Remus almost expects Sirius to start teasing James about how "Marauder men never cry", but apparently even Sirius Black, perpetual jokester, is perceptive enough to know that it is not the time to be joking around…

It probably helps that Lily is in earshot, as well. She can be very scary when angry, they all know from experience.

As they enter, Lily looks up and beams at them, her face lined with stress and weariness but radiating pride, love, and joy. "Remus, Sirius, meet Harry James Potter."

At first, all Remus sees is a swathe of soft, baby-blue blankets with a small tuft of raven-black hair peeking up from inside. Then the blankets stir and a tiny head pops out, its small face scrunched up in a yawn. The bundle sleepily blinks awake, bright emerald-green eyes blinking open.

Sirius immediately begins cooing over little Harry, gushing over how tiny he is, how cute he is, how sweet, how amazing, how _perfect_. Remus knows he should probably be carefully absorbing every second of it to use as blackmail (he was a Marauder, after all, and "Sirius" used in the same sentence as "cooing" and "gushing" was not a very frequent occasion at all…like, _at all_…) but instead he sneaks a glance at Lily, who looks amused and is indulgently nodding and smiling at all that Sirius says, and James, who has surreptitiously removed his wire-rim glasses and is now discreetly wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

Remus looks back at Lily, who is _still_ nodding absentmindedly at Sirius and looks back at him expectantly in turn.

Remus doesn't know what to say. No words would be able to do this moment justice. "He's…a new addition to our family, Lily. Our little Prongslet. Our _cub_."

Lily studies him for a moment before nodding and smiling softly, understanding and appreciative all at once.

Because, Remus thinks, it's true. All of them are family, and even though Harry is James and Lily's child, he is also Remus's cub, and he will always protect his cub.

Always.

And he'll have to take care of the others, too, he adds with an eye roll as Sirius's self-control inevitably slips and he begins taunting James about how "Marauder men never cry" – _I knew that was coming _– and Remus has to go break the loud verbal war up before they get kicked out for disturbing the patients.

But they're family – his pack, he thinks – so he does it with a smile.

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**So, yeah! What did you guys think?**

**Also, the next chapter "In Hiding" is only about 170 words and I'm done, but I'm trying to, er, fatten it up, so to speak, so tell me if you would rather have a really short chapter soon or a longer one later.**

**Otherwise, I'm done with the next two after that - "Betrayal" and "Professor" - so, yeah...**


	5. Prank War

**This isn't "In Hiding" - like I said, I'm a little stuck on it. I have ideas now (lots of them), I just need to arrange them into something comprehensible and persuade my sister to let me borrow her copies of OoTP and PoA...guards them like a bloody dragon, she does...**

**So, yeah. This is my way of satisfying my muse (as she's getting quite impatient with me with the entire "persuading my sister" fiasco). And I thought that we could do with some humor as you're not going to get as much after next chapter.**

**Be warned - it's really short. Even shorter than Chapter 1 ("Date").**

**Edit: This hasn't changed much. I've just added Holly Chase's prank suggestion and made a few pretty unnoticeable changes.**

**I don't own HP.**

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Moment: Prank War

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The first time the Marauders gang up on each other, it is because James has exchanged Sirius's shampoo for pink hair dye, whom in retaliation charms James's hair to (horror of all horrors) _lay flat_, whom in return turns Sirius's Gryffindor red-and-gold striped scarf green and silver ("Oh, bloody_ hell_ no! Being pink-haired is enough! There's no bloody way I'm going to go around looking like ). Sirius then makes James's shirts all read _"Smack me, I'm an arrogant prat"_ in an obnoxious sparkly mauve and James charms Sirius's underwear to give him a permanent wedgie and it all degenerates from there – a full out prank war between the two mischievous masterminds, each trying to get the two remaining Marauders to join their cause. After a week, poor Peter finally cracks under the pressure and relents to James while Remus, the ever saintly one, remains out of the mess entirely.

…Out of the mess entirely, that is, until his precious secret chocolate stash gets caught in the crossfire and is somehow reduced to a pile of smoking puke-green goo that explodes in Remus's face.

Remus spends all of fifteen minutes mourning his poor beloved chocolate before turning on the others with a stoic, calm smile, demonically shadowed eyes, and a quietly malevolent, flaming blood-red aura.

James, Sirius, and Peter all call temporary truce in the face of an apoplectic Remus and spend the rest of the night sleeping (cowering) in the common room.

Remus spends the rest of the night planning. Mischievous masterminds James and Sirius may be, but Remus has always been the true mastermind, creative and almost scarily ruthless when planning pranks that all have a 100% success rate.

By the next evening, Remus has singlehandedly stopped a devastating weeks-long prank war and has gained the entire school's respect for cowing the notorious, elusive Marauders.

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**Because we all need a little Remus-style ass-kicking once in a while. R.I.P chocolate.**

**Have any suggestions for what Remus could have done? I'm sorry, but what I've already written is about extent of my prank-inventing abilities. I _do_ have more more prank ideas than just these, it's just that none of them are as awesome as I would like them to be...You can PM me or leave a review and I'll add it.**


	6. Prank War (Cont): Remus's Prank

**Hey, everybody!**

**So, yet again, this is **_**not**_** "In Hiding" – instead, you get to read about Remus whooping ass. Again. Oh well…**

**As you could probably surmise from the chapter title, this chapter is about Remus's awesome prank. Yay.**

**This is dedicated to both Holly Chase and Random Person with No Name for each leaving a review with a suggestion for Remus's prank. It's actually all Random Person with No Name's ideas, but Holly Chase also deserves recognition for effort and, better yet, reviewing almost every chapter! And I got the idea for the "lost love" part from one of her reviews. So thank you, Holly Chase and Random Person with No Name!**

**Also, sorry, Random Person with No Name (I feel like a really rude person, calling you that, even though it's your pen name...), I didn't fit in the parts with the suits of armor. It didn't really fit in the scenario I wrote out as the victims don't leave the Gryffindor Tower, so…sorry?**

**This chapter is in James's point of view for a change. Sort of.**

**Also, just because James thinks that Sirius is a "poofter" doesn't mean that he actually is. James just **_**thinks**_** so. So please no complaints/flames/whatever about that.**

**Yay! I beat my old longest chapter (Chp. 4, "Baby")! This is now the longest chapter! 2,208 words, including the Author's Note!**

**Anyways, sorry about the obscenely long AN. I had to type out all the credits. Or whatever they're called.**

**I don't own HP.**

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Prank War (Cont.): Remus's Prank

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James wakes up with a start the next morning with a painful crick in his neck from sleeping on the couch. Nothing seems to have woken him up, but he has an ominous feeling that something is not right. Something is _very_ not right.

He is proven correct when Sirius, always the first to wake up so he can get ready ("getting ready" always consists of an hour-long shower session as well as thirty minutes in front of the mirror), shrieks "WHAT THE HELL?!" loud and high-pitched enough to wake the devil.

James does not mind the fact that his friend is shrieking like a girl – he's fairly certain Sirius is a poofter, with his long, silky, carefully-maintained hair and how he has pretty girls throwing at him left and right and doesn't even bat an eye – and is prepared to yell back "A bit louder, please, Sirius, I think there were a few people in China who didn't hear you", but it comes out all wrong. It comes out even higher-pitched and shriller than Sirius's shriek and leaves him speechless.

Peter slips in, looking thoroughly miserable. "So it happened to you, too."

But James cannot answer because he is too busy gaping at Peter.

His previously short, sandy-haired locks are now long and almost…_silky_, reaching down to his shoulders. His face, although covered almost entirely with powder, rouge, lipstick, mascara, and other assorted types of makeup, remains masculine, making him look a bit like a clown. He is wearing a large, frilly, lurid pink dress with a large skirt, hot pink little bows, and sparkly sequins as well as two-inch-high needle-thin matching high-heels – James was fairly certain they were called stilettos or something. He used to think it was ridiculous, how they were named after a kind of knife, but he is not laughing anymore.

The first think James says is, "What in the name of Merlin are you _wearing_, Peter?" before cringing at his high, girly voice.

Peter looks even more miserable, if possible. "The same thing Sirius is wearing. The same thing _you_ are wearing. And it doesn't even come off!" he wails. "Whenever I wiped off the makeup it just reapplied itself! It took me twenty minutes to get out of miserable excuse for clothing and after I put on my robes they just shimmered and turned back into this! It happened to my shoes as well! I can hardly _walk_ in this death trap! How do the women even _do_ it?! And then every once in a while, Sirius and I just spontaneously burst into a song from some random Muggle musical – last time it was 'Mary Poppins', and the time before that was 'The Sound of Music' – and it's utterly impossible to stop! The only okay thing about this is that it's a Sunday – no classes!"

James blinks, and then again, waiting for his brain to catch up. "You and Sirius spontaneously burst into song? From Muggle musicals?"

"Yes!" Peter looks ready to cry. "It's horrible!"

"Who did this anyways?" James scowls, but judging from the way Peter suddenly blinks his tears away and snickers quietly, he figures that it is not very intimidating at all.

"I don't know," Peter says, still snickering.

"Oi," James says, annoyed, "Stop laughing. This predicament of ours is in no way funny."

"Oh, really?" a voice says from behind them. "Because it seems quite hilarious to me."

"Frank!" Peter jumps and spins around. "What are you doing here?"

"You seem to have forgotten," Frank says, smirking, "that this is the Gryffindor _common_ room, and it is in no way private." He gestures to the large disarray of upper-years in hysterics and the huddling cluster of traumatized-looking lower-years.

"Oh," James says, feeling incredibly mortified. "Er…"

An incredibly awkward silence ensues.

The door to the fifth-year boys' dorm bangs open and someone thunders down the stairs. "Oh, _James!_" Sirius wails dramatically, barreling into aforementioned person, clutching him in a smothering hug. "They've _ruined_ my _face!_ My _beautiful face!_ Oh, _whatever_ am I to _do?_"

For the third time this day, James is speechless (this time from asphyxiation).

Sirius completely disregards the large audience and continues with his theatrics. "Oh, it's a complete _disaster!_ Whoever orchestrated this dastardly deed is a cruel villain indeed! He has committed the most horrific crime of all: _completely no sense of fashion!_"

Black begins creeping into James's vision, which he knows is a bad thing, even though he is rather relieved to be rid of the horrible shade of Pepto-Bismol pink that blocks his vision.

"Alright, alright, break it up." Remus's mild voice sounds.

_My savior, _James thinks, thoroughly relieved.

"Sirius, stop smothering James. I really don't want to write 'death via large impenetrable pink blob' on his epitaph. Everyone else, clear out, I'll take these guys back into our room and take care of it. Frank, Lily, could you please –?"

Frank, looking disappointed that the entertainment has ended, makes a sound of assent and begins herding everybody either out or back up into their dorms with Lily helping, using her status as prefect to get rid of the more curious, stubborn, extremely brave, or just plain stupid stragglers.

"All right. Good, they're all gone now. I think you guys permanently mentally scarred a few of the first years. Sirius, I said to _let James go_."

"Now?" Sirius whimpers, looking every part the large, overgrown puppy he was.

"Yes, _now_."

Sirius pouts but complies, a gasping James sagging back onto the couch.

"Good doggy, Padfoot." Remus ignores Sirius's indignant sputters. "Now let's go. Peter, will you help me carry James upstairs? He's kind of heavy."

"Merlin, mate," James wheezes on the way up. "Could you _possibly_ have a stronger grip?"

"Sorry, Prongs," Sirius apologizes. "I was freaking out a bit."

"A _bit?_"

"Um…yeah?" Sirius looks uncertain. "Er…sorry?"

James scowls and grumbles something incomprehensible before breaking off with a startled yelp as Remus and Peter dump him on his bed.

"_Dang _you're heavy, Prongs," Peter groans, flopping back upon his own. "What the heck do you _eat?_"

"Speaking of eating, are you guys hungry? You missed breakfast and lunch," Remus says, waving a negligent hand at Sirius's horrified rant about how this evil, unforgivable prank had caused him to miss his precious _food_. "I can sneak down to the kitchens and grab some food by myself – you guys won't fit under the invisibility cloak with your large skirts."

"Yes, Remus!" Sirius cheers. "You're my hero!"

"All right, all right," Remus says, amused. "Wait here. Merlin forbid you guys get humiliated even _more_."

Remus slips out, pulling on James's invisibility cloak along the way.

"Hey, why didn't Remus get pranked if all three of us did?" Peter asks, frowning slightly. "I mean, he's a Marauder too…"

James shrugs. "Don't know."

Sirius says, "Well, actually, we were pranked last night, which was when we were sleeping in the common room to give Remus some time alone to mourn his lost love…"

Peter chokes. "W-what?"

"His lost love. You know; his chocolate?" Sirius says, grinning, while James cracks up.

"Oh. Okay…" Peter says, still looking a bit confused.

"Well, anyways," Sirius continues, "Since we were sleeping in a different room than Remus, he –"

"Wasn't affected," Peter says, a look of realization blooming on his face. "Oh. That makes sense!"

"Yup." Sirius looks proud.

"That was a surprisingly legit explanation," James says, smirking slightly.

"Uh-huh – hey, wait, what's that supposed to mean, James?"

James and Peter burst out laughing.

"James…Peter…! That's not nice!"

Before Sirius can rant about the cruelty of his "supposed" best friends, Remus returns with three laden trays covered with food. "Here you go!" he chirps, looking strangely chipper.

Sirius's fork pauses halfway to his mouth. "Why're _you_ so happy?" he asks suspiciously.

James and Peter's forks stop moving upward as well.

"No reason," Remus practically sings.

"But you were so angry yesterday – practically breathing fire, just because we destroyed your –"

"Just because? _Just because?_" Remus gets a dark look on his face. "Don't talk about the murder of my poor, helpless chocolate. Things tend to get hurt. Very hurt."

"Okay," Sirius says, cowed, and goes back to his lunch/dinner…linner? Dunch? Before Sirius can contemplate more on such matters, Remus's creepy smile immediately comes back full-force, seconds before all of their food explodes in their faces.

For a long five seconds they all stare at each other, dumfounded, before Remus bursts out laughing like a maniac, almost falling over.

"You!" James points accusatorily, having finally put all the pieces together. "You're the one who pranked us!"

"Says who?" Remus says with a perfectly innocent face. Prankster Rule #1: Thou shalt _always_ bear false witness.

"I do!" James says indignantly. "First your chocolate –"

Remus's face immediately darkens ominously.

"…Er, you know…" James hastily avoids saying it. "And you become really angry and so you retaliate by pulling this prank on us. That's why you didn't get pranked."

"Fine." Remus says, breaking Rule #1 but not minding because he planned on telling his friends anyways so they would learn their lesson. "And?"

"We're sorry?" Peter squeaks.

"And?"

"We won't do it again?" Sirius offers uncertainly.

"_And?_" Remus asks, looking impatient.

"Well, what else is there to say?" James asks. "That we'll be best buds forevermore and never, ever, ever break up?"

"Ew," Sirius says. "That sounds like we're dating or something."

"Oh for –" Remus sighs. "Could you possibly get any denser? What did you guys _learn?_"

"Oh!" Peter says, eyes lighting up with comprehension.

"You mean _that!_" Sirius says, nodding knowledgeably.

"Well, that's obvious!" James says, waving a negligent hand.

"Never, ever, ever, _ever_ touch Remus Lupin's chocolate or you will find all the forces of hell and more raining down upon you," they chorus.

"Good." Remus nods, satisfied, and pulls his wand (cypress and unicorn hair, 10 ¾", pliable) out from…somewhere…and waves it, making all of their embarrassing accessories disappear, replaced by their much more normal everyday clothing before stowing it away again.

"Oh, erm, Remus…?" Peter asks, looking nervous. "Um, I'm the one who set up the prank that erm, you know…"

At Remus's rapidly darkening countenance, Peter makes a sound much like a mouse (rat?) being stepped on and squeaked, "I'm sorry! I didn't know! I was just trying to get you to join in, because there was this bet going on between the three of us about who would get you to join in on the prank war first! Um…"

Remus pulls out his wand again and idly begins twirling it. "Keep going, Peter, I'm still listening," he says, deceptively mildly.

"Please don't kill me…?"

"Wrong answer."

* * *

**So, yeah. I left room for another possible sequel, so I can lighten things up in case things get too dark and angsty later on. I'd rather not be the depressing type of person.**

**Also, I got the information about Remus's wand off Pottermore. So, yeah. I didn't just randomly make it up and therefore I don't own it.**

**Next update we'll get back on the trail heading towards dark and gritty angst-land. Even though I write angst extremely horribly.**

**Joy.**


	7. In Hiding

**So, here is "In Hiding"! Finally! Even though this chapter is less about Remus's reaction and more about Molly chewing her older brothers out...**

**Thanks to Random Person with No Name. She's been helping me with coming up with ideas for humor and stuff (can't have you guys drowning in the sea of boring-ness, now, can we?), and over half of this chapter is all her creativity and imagination...**

**I don't own HP.**

* * *

Moment: In Hiding

* * *

The first time Remus hears that the Potter and Longbottom families have to go in hiding under the Fidelius Charm because Lord Voldemort is targeting them, it is during an Order meeting the day after it was performed, James, Lily, Alice, and Frank looking like their castle in the air has come crashing down.

A loud, unintelligible ruckus immediately ensues, each voice rising louder and louder to overcome the one next to them.

He feels a shock of fear and worry – _Why are they being targeted?_ _Who will be their Secret Keeper? What if they are killed? _– and hopes that they will not be betrayed, as the Secret Keeper can only tell the location of the hideout voluntarily, which means Veritaserum and/or the Imperious Curse will not work (take that, Voldemort!).

All of a sudden, the door to their impromptu "meeting room" (the Weasleys' kitchen) bursts open and two identical little redheaded toddlers come soaring in on two toy broomsticks, squealing happily all the way, before soaring outside through the other door on the opposite end of the room.

A sudden silence falls, quiet enough that they can all hear Mundungus Fletcher suddenly snort loudly and sit up, blinking blearily at the others. "Huh –? Wha –?"

Molly rushes in, looking none too happy. "Oh, I'm so sorry! What happened? Bill and Charlie were supposed to be looking after them! What are those boys doing?"

"My, my, brother of mine, look at ickle Freddikins and Georgikins go! Don't you think they're quite the pair?" Fabian Prewett asks his twin brother, Gideon.

"Why, I quite agree. They'll be quite the Quidditch players when they grow up!" Gideon says, joining his brother by the window to watch the cackling three-year-olds frolicking outside on their toy brooms.

Fabian nods sagely. "They'll be quite the pranksters, as well, don't you think?"

"Quite right, brother of mine. Rejoice, for they shall carry on our legacy and terrorize Hogwarts!" Gideon waves his arm in a grand gesture.

"Oh, you two, don't encourage them!" Molly scolds. "One pair of mischief-making twins is enough!"

"Yes, dear little sister of ours," Fabian and Gideon chorus.

"But really, Molly dear," Gideon says, shaking his head mock-dolefully, "You wouldn't have given them the same initials as us –"

"– if you hadn't wanted them to follow in our remarkable footsteps!" Fabian finishes, grinning cheekily.

Molly swells indignantly. "No, I did _not_ name them like that so they could follow in your so-called 'remarkable' footsteps! I gave them those initials in the hope that you would somehow miraculously manage to take on some form of responsibility! I now see that was a useless hope! You – you – you incorrigible _scoundrels!_ Horrible role models, encouraging innocent little children to make mischief! How _dare_ you corrupt my poor, innocent little babies!" Molly turns to Remus and says in a sweet tone, "Speaking of them, Remus, would you please go and check on all the children? Thank you."

Remus nods and hastily stands up, hotfooting his way across the room to the door leading out to the living room.

"And _you!_" She turns her overprotective-mother-glower onto the twins, who are trying to discreetly slip away. "Get back here! I'm not done with you two yet!"

Remus closes the door behind him with a loud _thud_ and leans back onto it, relieved. Molly can be _scary_.

As he glances around, he notices something with a rapidly plummeting stomach: the only children in here are the three gurgling months-old babies in the playpen – Neville, Ron, and Harry.

Remus dreads Molly finding out that all her "poor, innocent little babies" are gone and is about to resign himself to the fact that Molly is going to give him a loud verbal bashing along with Fabian and Gideon when, to his massive relief, three mops of messy orange-red hair pop up from underneath the couch.

As the three dusty boys clamber out and brush themselves off, the oldest one, Bill, says, "Mum's chewing Uncle Fab and Gid out again."

"She's really at it this time," the middle one, Charlie, says. "What'd they do now?"

The youngest, Percy, cocks his head and listens to Molly's voice, coming clearly through the thick wooden door. "She says they've cor…um, cor-rup-ted Freddie and Georgie," he says.

"Ah," Bill says, nodding his head sagely, "That'd definitely set her off."

"Even if it's not poss'ble for Freddie and Georgie to be c'rupted," Charlie adds. "They're a'ready…um…what did Mum call Unc'e Fab and Gid? Un…un-porridge-able."

"Incorrigible, Charlie," Bill corrects. "So what're you doing here, Mr. Moony?"

"Molly sent me here to check on you guys," Remus says, amused. "So how did Fred and George escape?"

"Freddie and Georgie?" Charlie asks. "Well, we were s'posed to be babysitting, but we acc'dentally let them escape. I was lookin' after Nev and Ron and Harry, and Bill was teachin' Perce how to read, and then next thing we know, Freddie and Georgie are gone!"

"Like _poof_," Percy adds, gesturing with his hands.

"Oh. All right. And what were you lads doing under the couch?" Remus asks.

"Oh." Bill flushes red. "We always hide there when Mum gets going. She's like…like…a train!"

"Oh, really?" Remus asks, curious. "How so?"

"Once she gathers steam, she's impossible to stop!"

* * *

**So yeah. Horrible attempted humor abound.**

**Sorry about my butchering of a seven-year old's speech. I tried to make it realistic, but to no avail...**

**I probably would have given Percy a horrible accent as well, but he's only got two lines, and seriously, you try imagining Percy, horn-rimmed glasses and all, saying the word "poof" with bad speech. Jut him saying "poof" is enough to make me burst out laughing...**

**Besides, making the five-year-old version of him have trouble with the word "corrupted" was strange enough...Percy makes a very smart five-year-old.  
**


	8. Betrayal

**Okay, so here is the "angsty" chapter...or my attempt at it, anyways...it's not one of those emo-y I-want-to-die angst chapters, it's more of an everyone-I-love-is-dead sort of angst...**

**Also, I want to see if I could possibly make anyone cry while reading my writing. I probably didn't (because _I_ didn't cry and I was _writing_ this), but I'm just curious because apparently the mark of a good writer is making their readers cry or something like that...**

**I really wanted to call it "To Live For" so it was kinda hopeful but I also wanted to follow the "Moment" thing, and "Moment: To Live For" doesn't really make sense (or at least, to me it doesn't), so I just have to make do with "Moment: Betrayal".**

**So, yeah. Enjoy...?**

**I don't own HP.**

* * *

Moment: Betrayal

* * *

The first time Remus hears that James and Lily are _dead_ and Sirius Black has betrayed them all, giving out the location of their hideout to Voldemort and killing poor, brave, _suicidal_ Peter along with thirteen other Muggles with one curse, the world comes crashing down upon him. The first thing he thinks is, _No! Not Sirius! He – he would never do anything like that!_

But no matter how much he denies it, there is only the cold, hard truth – Sirius was the Potters' Secret Keeper, he had to have given it voluntarily; there were witnesses there when he killed all those poor Muggles and Peter; the Aurors' reports all said that he was laughing maniacally, of all things, laughing! – and he knows that he will have to face reality.

_How could he? He…he was our friend! Best friend! Almost like family! Their best man, Harry's godfather!_ A more ominous thought crosses his mind. _Oh, Merlin…how long was he in league with Voldemort? How long had he been planning to betray them? How long was he there, pretending, to be our friend, to love them? To love _Harry?_ How long?_

With a slightly vindictive pleasure, he is glad that Sirius – Black now, he ought to refer to him as Black, as he is almost a complete stranger to him – is in Azkaban. _He deserves it for betraying James and Lily. For killing Peter._

_ …For leaving me alone, left behind to pick up the pieces._

He can see the pity reflected in Professor Dumbledore's dim blue eyes, nowhere near as bright and sparkling as they usually are. But when he says gently, "Their son still lives," Remus jerks back upright from the slumped position he had collapsed into like a puppet with its strings cut when he heard the news.

"Harry?" he gasps, small hope flaring back to life. "Little Harry's still alive? But – how?"

"That's what we may never know," Dumbledore says, his ancient voice sounding world-weary and tired. "It is yet a mystery. I have quite a few speculations, of course, but they are merely that – speculations."

"How – how is he?"

"He has escaped mostly unscathed," Dumbledore says, "but he is left from his encounter with Lord Voldemort with a scar on his forehead, in the shape of a lightning bolt."

"There's nothing wrong with him, right?" Remus asks worriedly. "No brain damage? He's fine?"

"From what I've seen, little Harry is perfectly healthy."

Remus leans back into his chair and sighs, relieved. "Where is he now?"

"I've sent him to live with his relatives," Dumbledore says. "His aunt and uncle, the Dursleys."

"_What?_" Remus gasps, sitting back up again. "But from what I've heard of Lily's rants about her family, they're horrible people! Hating all magic, gossiping about neighbors, selling drills, trying to be as mundane as possible! Harry will never be able to be himself!"

"Ah," Dumbledore says, looking sad. "But he will be the safest there."

Remus gets a determined glint in his eye. "I can take him, Professor. He can live with me."

Dumbledore shakes his head. "No, Remus. First of all, you are a werewolf. Where will he go during the full moon? What if you –"

Remus breaks in, "He can go to the Weasleys, they have a son his age, Ron, and they –"

Dumbledore holds up a hand. "_No_, Remus. The Ministry will never approve –"

"_Hell_ to what the Ministry thinks!"

"– and trust me, Harry will be the safest at the Dursleys. One of my more credible theories is that Lily sacrificed herself to save Harry, invoking very ancient, very powerful magic which saved him from the Killing Curse and will protect him from Voldemort when he undoubtedly rises again. But these wards will only work if he remains with his blood family - the Dursleys. Don't worry, Remus; I have written a letter to explain everything to them. They will treat him as one of their own. They are family, after all."

Remus still looks slightly rebellious, but sighs in defeat and says, "Thank you, Professor," and gets up and leaves.

The next few weeks are horrible, as whispers and hushed conversations persist all over magical Britain about the Potters' death, Sirius Black's betrayal, and how the "Boy-Who-Lived" defeated You-Know-Who (the hyphenated monikers are really quite uncreative and annoying). The only thing that keeps Remus from utterly falling into depression and crawling under a rock to hide is the fact that Harry is still alive.

But as each year passes, his clothes gradually become increasingly shabby, himself increasingly thin, his hair increasingly gray. Nobody in the Wizarding world will hire him, and by the time he is desperate enough to apply for Muggle jobs, his decrepit appearance does him no favors. He has to rely on the Muggle soup kitchens to get a not-so-decent meal, and he wanders around England like a useless old tramp (although instead he is a broken, tired man), with nowhere to go, nowhere to be, nowhere to stay.

Sometimes he wonders if it is easier to just let go, to become nothing, to stop resisting the pull to give up; if life is easier when you have no emotions, no attachments, nothing to bring you down...if it's worth it to keep going.

But then he remembers his family, back in the old times (and it felt oh so long ago) when he was happy, back when James preened, Sirius joked, Peter stuttered, and Lily scolded, and he knows that without them, without his _family_, he wouldn't be the person he was today. As a werewolf, he is shunned and spat upon by the usual populace, but his family made him feel like he belonged, like he was worth something, like he was a person, like he was loved.

He knows it's worth it, so he immediately dismisses the traitorous thoughts from mind and keeps going, tenaciously holding on by a thread, because his cub, the last of Remus's shattered family, is still alive, and he can't just abandon him…

So as long as Harry is alive, Remus still has something – some_one_ – to live for.

* * *

**So, yeah. What did you think? Please review and tell me because in my opinion, it sucks...(and I'm fishing for reviews...)**

**I just don't do sad stuff.**


	9. Professor

**Yay! Two chapters in one day!**

**This one was actually prewritten, way back when I first posted this, so the quality might be a little worse...yeah, because ****I would_ like_ to say that I improved over...*counts on fingers*...eight days. Oh. **

***whines* But it felt like such a long time ago!**

**So anyways, this is when Remus becomes a professor. I didn't have much to write about on this - that's why this is such a short chapter this time.**

**By the way, what do you think sounds better as a chapter title - "Professor" or "Professorship"?**

**I don't own HP.**

* * *

Moment: Professor

* * *

The first time Remus hears that Dumbledore wants him to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, it is when a tawny Hogwarts owl (which has a charm that enables it to always find their letter's recipient based on their magical signature, no matter what – unless they're dead, of course) tracks him down to him sulking in the back of a dark, shady pub with customers with questionable morals and settles obstinately on his shoulder, refusing to leave until Remus opens his letter.

At first, Remus adamantly refuses to open it – he does not want to get involved with anything. He is so, so tired – of running away, of living in horrible conditions, of being a werewolf, and maybe even of living.

And that thought scares him, just a bit – okay, a lot.

But when he realizes that it could be about Harry, he tears the letter open as quickly as possible, scaring the poor owl out of its wits with his completely bipolar actions.

The letter reads:

_**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**_

_**Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore  
**__**(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)**_

_**Dear Mr. Lupin,**_

_**We are pleased to inform you that you have been offered the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Please find enclosed the Ministry-approved learning syllabus for years 1-7.**_

_**Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.**_

_**Minerva McGonagall  
**__**Deputy Headmistress**_

It is a rather interesting development. Professor Dumbledore wants _him_, a _werewolf_, to teach children how to combat the Dark Arts?

The sheer irony makes him half want to groan and bang his head against the nearest hard surface and half burst into semi-maniacal laughter.

But if he is to take up this position, then he might be able to see Harry. Harry, who ought to be in his third year by now…

_I feel so old…_ he thinks with tangible amusement. _James would be whining to me about how "no, I'm not old! I am perfectly young, thank you very much!" Sirius would be too…_

Remus suppresses a pang of sadness. _Don't think about that traitor. He and the Sirius we used to know are different. It's Black now. Black._ _Especially since he's escaped now and after _my_ cub… How _could_ he?_

Yes, he doesn't want to get involved in anything. But he know he will accept anyways, if not just to see Harry – how he's doing, what he looks and acts like (cocky and humorous like James? Or studious and calm like Lily?), who his friends are, if he pulls pranks or not…and protect him from Black. He has to keep Black from destroying what's left of his family.

_Besides_, he thinks while writing back a positive reply for the owl to bring back (as he doesn't have one) with conjured parchment, quill, and ink, _I've always wanted to try my hand at teaching._

* * *

**I based the letter off the Hogwarts acceptance letter, so, yeah...I know, it sucks...**

**As for the "Ministry-approved" part, I just had to fit that in...for a****lthough the _syllabus_ was Ministry-approved, I very much doubt that _Remus himself_ was... :P**


	10. To Meet Again

**Sorry for the long(ish) wait! But most authors update, like, once a month, so I should be fine...right? Right?**

**Meh. Whatever. You can slaughter me in your reviews or whatever, but I wouldn't really mind because then you'd actually be reviewing...**

**So yeah. I didn't get to use the actual book and ended up using a fanfiction for reference instead (_Listening_ by Morning Lilies, if you're curious), so sorry if I got anything wrong...**

**Tell me! Because then you'd be reviewing! And I love reviews!**

**I do not own Harry Potter in any way, shape, or form. All rights belong to J.K. Rowling**

* * *

Moment: To Meet Again

* * *

The first time Remus hears Harry speak a _real coherent sentence_ (gasp) it is while he is shamelessly eavesdropping on a group of three – Harry and his two friends Ron and Hermione – while pretending to be asleep.

At first he is just trying to get some rest after the full moon the day before, although it is likely impossible because students continue to slide open the door to peek inside before hastily slamming it closed, seeing him staring (glaring) irritably back.

_If the students don't want to share a compartment with a teacher, they could at least try not to irritate me_,he thinks, scowling slightly. Remus is _dead_ _tired_, and although he is normally quite pleasant and mild-tempered, he is not in a very good mood today. His "inner wolf", as usual, is no help at all; instead, it rather significantly increases his bad mood.

He sighs and closes his eyes, feigning sleep in a wishful attempt to actually fall asleep and to also make it less awkward for students to come into the empty compartment and therefore _stop slamming the dang door_.

And that is how he ends up in the same compartment as Harry and his friends, and ends up not sleeping a wink.

As he listens to the three children talking, he learns that the girl (he does not know her name yet) is very intelligent, Ron (and Remus is slightly amused – Harry and Ron had been good playmates as babies as well) is an avid Chudley Cannons fan, and that Harry's voice sounds like an adolescent James's voice but with Lily's unique verbal quirks and inflections. (Remus is surprised and somewhat upset to find that he has almost entirely forgotten what his friends' voices sounded like until today.)

Harry also doesn't seem too alarmed at the fact that Sirius Black is after him.

A strangely detached part of Remus wonders just how well Harry will take it when he learns that Black is a traitor and betrayed his parents, leading to their death. The rest of him feels a flash of anger at that particular subject, but he pushes it away – he should be celebrating; he is finally reunited with his cub (even though aforementioned cub has no idea who Remus is, other than being the new DADA professor)!

But that slightly depressing train of thought is interrupted by the door sliding open and a round of insults traded between two warring parties, and thus leads to a new interesting and rather amusing piece of information – this generation of Slytherins is in no way more creative than the last. "Potty and the Weasel" – seriously?

The arrogant boy being a Malfoy explains everything, though, and he personally ends the verbal spat by making himself noticed, actually glad that he is a teacher even though the Marauders, ah…_strongly disliked_ several (read: Filch) during their tenure at Hogwarts.

That particular feeling is quickly ridden of after the girl shushes Ron for making a threat to Malfoy, wary of Remus overhearing.

But Remus really wouldn't have minded Ron strangling the pompous git at all.

But for the large part of the ride to Hogwarts, Remus is content to just lean back and listen to their chatter.

And somewhere along the way, he really does fall asleep.

The first time he _sees_ Harry, though, is an entirely different matter. It is during an encounter with a dementor on a train ride, and Harry is unconscious to boot. Remus is woken up by the many loud voices in the compartment, but doesn't catch a good look until after he lights a fire in the palm of his hand, looking at each student in turn until he nearly has a heart attack from seeing a mini-James unconscious and convulsing on the rather dirty floor – although when he looks closer, Remus notes that this boy is thinner and scrawnier, as if he has not been well taken care of, which is not unlikely. He knows what kind of people the Dursleys are.

But there are other students here, and Remus is a teacher, so he must (or at least attempt to) act strict and unbiased. Or however teachers are supposed to act. So he ignores his instincts screaming at him to make sure that Harry is all right.

And there is a dementor. He mustn't forget the dementor. That would not be good.

After he disposes of the dementor with a purposely incorporeal Patronus (he despises everything to do with wolves), he turns around to look at the students again. He reminds himself to act teacher-ly and searches in his briefcase for his emergency bar of chocolate (and quietly mourns his loss) before checking on Harry.

He seems to be very well taken care of by his friends (Ron and Hermione), who are shaking him back and forth by his shoulders. When that appears ineffective, Ron begins…er, quite gently slapping his face.

"Harry! Harry! Are you all right?"

Haunted green eyes (Lily's eyes – although they didn't usually show an emotion such as this) groggily open and Harry groans. "W-what?"

Hermione looks very relieved. Remus wholeheartedly feels the same.

"Are you all right?" Ron asks as they help Harry back onto his seat. He looks awful, too pale and clammy.

"Yeah," Harry says. "What happened? Where's that – that thing? Who screamed?"

"No one screamed," Ron says, frowning slightly.

"But I heard screaming –"

Remus decides to interrupt this conversation before they think Harry is insane and loudly snaps his precious chocolate bar (and feels like crying while doing so…but that would not make a very good first impression on the students, so he doesn't) into pieces. "Here," he says while evenly distributing his large bar of chocolate amongst them all (and silently mourning his loss). "Eat it. It'll help."

And if Harry's bar happens to be larger (much, much larger) than any of the others', well, Remus knows _nothing_.

* * *

**So, yeah. A few jabs at Remus chocoholic-ism and very little actual dialogue...**

**Tell me what you think! **


End file.
